Sunday, August 27, 2006


In the past posts, I wrote how I leave the Lord. and now i wanted to confess my sins for sins against Him(the same one), again! What?! Ya, again and I back to Him...again...

Lord, help me!

Friends around, pray for me! Thanks!
God bless!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Really good one!

Perhaps you guys saw this before but I think the meanings are really good!

Sometimes it looks like something "GOOD" but actually is "EVIL"

You "teach"? actually you are "learn"-ing

What are you looking at? What am I looking at? I see "YOU" in "ME"! owh...

Again and again? God'll fight with day...

Again and again I leaved Him...
Again and again He draw me back, back to His side...
I can say nothing upon His patience on me...
Last night, He reminded me this:

In Joel’s book of prophecy, God declared: “I am in the midst of Israel . . . . My people shall never be put to shame” (2:27). But earlier in the chapter God promised to fight against His people. A plague of locusts would descend like a ravenous army on the nation (vv.2-11).

It’s hard to fathom that the Lord would fight against His chosen people. But Israel had given their affections to other gods. In fact, God had fought against them before. “Wherever they went out, the hand of the Lord was against them for calamity” (Judges 2:15). I have learned that if my own heart wanders away from God, I can count on Him to fight to bring me back. If I become proud and self-assured, if reading God’s Word and spending time in prayer seem like a waste of time, God will step in and deal with me.

God will fight against us for our good. He permits us to experience defeat so that we will listen to Him when He says, “Rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness” (Joel 2:13).

Don’t wait for God to fight against you before you seek His face. Return to Him today. —Albert LeeAlbert Lee-->

Because our Father’s heart is grieved
Each time we go astray,
He lifts His chastening hand in love
To help us find His way. —D. De Haan

God’s hand of discipline is a hand of love.

"for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness” (Joel 2:13). "! Again and again He forgive me and again I sins Him... Why? I don't really intented to do such offence but I just done it...

"Lord, I'm not dare to promise You anything already. I can't prmise You anything! I always broke my own promise... Lord, guide me! Let the prmise that I made, like the rainbow in the sky, it never fade!"

Saturday, August 19, 2006

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

o my married and unmarried friends: This is a very touching story, please read it slowly....

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped>in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out ofthe car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid;I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.

So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove >to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Very touching, right? If you think it's touching, please forward it to your friends! if you think it's not touching at all, just ignored this.

*Joseph: Guys out there! This is a lesson for you! and to me too... After this mail, I felt I could never do something like divorce to my future wife... Why? Well, guys, why do you marry a girl? Cos she's your sweetheart, your darling, your love ones right? So, if you know a divorce will hurt your sweetheart/darling/love ones, do you want to do so?

Ya, I know, probably the young adults will think "bored marriage" is a big problem as we like stimulating and new things but come on! Marriage is a holy thing and the most happenning thing in your life! And it's God's will to let you to marry another being and live together, 2 in 1! If you scared of bored marriage life, try something NEW together each day! Like this couple, try to refresh the sweet memory which also lead both to focus and feel the sence of intimacy between! Except this, perhaps, jog together every evenning after or before working in the morning? If you like cycling, can try to cycle together? Read the bible and pray together and share together? Learn how to cook together? MSN/ICQ each other during work time? Find out your sweetheart's interest and do it TOGETHER! Dude, use your creative mind! God gave us all one! If you think you don't have, follow the prayer below:

"Lord, I thank you for I'm reading this message. I trusted that it is You who want me to know this. Lord, bless me with a creative mind as I think my life is boring. I thought my marriage life is/will be boring too. So, Lord, please renew our mind and walk with you together throughout our life! Thank You Lord! With Jesus name I prayed. Amen."

Ya, I think I said too much as I'm just 19.. hehe... Well, may GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I saw this song lyric while I'm arranging the church songs into files...

M is for the million things she save to me
O means only that she's getting old
T is for the tears she shed to save me
H is for her heart of purest gold
E is for her eyes with love light shinning
R means right and right she'll always be

Put them all together they spell
a word that means the world to me

*Joseph: To me? Yes, to me.

Friday, August 11, 2006

You'll be in my heart...

Come, stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from, all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us, can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

1-'CAUSE you'll be in my heart
YES, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more

2-You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust, what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all
(repeat 1..AND)

Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know?
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know
When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on
They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together
Always, I'll be with you I'll be there for you, always, always and always
Just look over your shoulder (3)
I'll be there, always

The first time I hear this song, it reminded me about Tarzan, which also made me have a sudden feel to go and watch the movie... The second time I hear, I wanted to search the lyrics cause I heard "You'll be in my heart" over and over throughout the whole song; after I've found, I thought it is just describing a guy and a girl's love or other way round... The third time, I thought it might can describ the love from our Lord to us!

Read the lyrics carefully.. Imagine it is God who speaking to you now...

I feel so much on this:

"They just don't trust, what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all "

Why can't the world trust the Lord? cause they can't explain and can't imagine how great and how magnificient God can love... me and you? And, we seemed different, but "We're not that different at all " in our heart!

"Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know? "

What the world know? to sin against Him and brought us far apart form Him! Dont listen to them!

"We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know "

Imagine, God needs you? Yes! Indeed! He needs YOU! He never create anyone "just for fun", or "too boring in the heaven"! Therefore, He needs you!

"When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on"

Maybe not "may not be with you"... there's sometime that we can't feel Him around us when we're so desperate and that's obviosly cause our eyes just focusing on the problem, not Him!

"They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together "

Show the world and tell the world how God love you and chose you and He love the world so much!

"(repeat 1..BELIEVE ME.."

Come, belive Me! said Jesus!


He promised: I'll be there, just for you!

"just look over your shoulder (3) "

He's comforting you, whenever, wherever you needs Him!

"I'll be there, always "

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Lord, never leave us...

I've run from God very far,
Like from M'sia to US;
I have no idea why,
But the truth is:
I ran away from God,
Far far away...

Though I come church everyday,
Due to the duty of working;
But my heart,
Is only for working, not for serving...

People thought I was the person I used to be,
Who is a "holy man" in everywhere;
Actually, I'm just have a name that I'm alive,
I'm dead, spiritually dead!

God love me so much! I can tell you this, seriously! Though I've run away from God, He never leave me! I was in Stephen Tong's talk on monday. He spoke:"Till when do you want to sin against God? Until the day He come again? Till the punishment come to you? Repent, NOW!" I was so sad and regret at the time he spoke... The 2nd day, I sin against Him, again! I think, He punished me with a great headache and sore throat(and I'm still in the pain now).

And last night, He reminded me to repent again when I was reading "Our Daily Bread". The scripture of the day gave me a answer of "why I run away from God". I was spiritually dead! "you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead. Rev3:1" The 'dead' refering to spiritually dead. I have a name as "christian", but doesn't live as a christian!

"Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God” (Revelation 3:1-2)." Yes, I admit that I've done nothing perfect before God!

I like this very much... and I repent on what I've sin against Him after reading this:

Their reputation for being alive didn’t match reality. They were spiritually dead. But there was still hope. The Lord told them to wake up and fan the spark of spiritual life still in them. “Hold fast and repent,” He warned (v.3).

Pretending to be what we aren’t is a heavy burden to bear. Our Lord calls us to lay it down, repent, come back to Him, and live. —David C. McCasland

Are you running away from God? Remember this:

"No matter how far you’ve run from God, He’s only a prayer away."

Saturday, August 05, 2006

What Happens in Heaven

This is one of the nicest mails I have seen and is so true:

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received." I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed anddelivered to the living persons who asked for them."I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working?Hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were Being packaged for delivery to Earth.Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed "How is it that? There's no work going on here?" I asked. "So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments."How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked. "Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord.""What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.
"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy."
And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."
Also ..."If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "
If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, orthe pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ... you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world. "
If your parents are still alive and still married you are very RARE!!!If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you are unique to all those in doubt and despair."
Ok, what now? How can I start?If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all. Have a good day, count your blessings,and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

Attn: Acknowledge Dept.:Thank You Lord! "Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with."

Repost from Jolene

Thursday, August 03, 2006

If there's one day...

If there's one day, I'm dead, and you have a chance to talk about me in my funeral ceremony to those audience, what will you talk about?

*Please think it very carefully... do any point that you must tell and not to miss it?

If you did the thinking, thank you. You are not obliged to leave any comment or mail me about it. It just to stimulate your mind.

Another question, sorry if you think i'm really bad to ask but do think about it please!

If there's one day, you dead. Every friend, siblings, parents of yours, have a chance to speak something on the funeral ceremony. What do you think they will say?
  • Your parents: will they say, you are a good son/daughter?
  • Your siblings: will they say, you are a great blessing for them to have you to be their siblings?
  • Your uncle and aunts: will they say, you are respecting elder persons, helpful to them?
  • Your friends, will they say, you have a willing ear to hear them, a helpful hand to help, a great friend to have?

and if you are a christian,

  • Your pastor/rev, will he/she say that you are willing to serve the Lord in the church? being loyal to everything you do?
  • Your elders in the church, will they say that you respect them and help them?
  • Your friends in church, will they say you have a heart for the Lord and do everything for Him?!


  • When the Lord come to you, what will He say to you? Do He ask how many friends you have? or ask how many cash money in your hand or bank? or how many things you have in the house? or how many days you serve in the church or how many service you do? or how many bible version you have? no....

He'll ask,

  • "How many times you spend to help 'a' friend when they're in trouble?"
  • "How many times you spend your money to help somebody in need?"
  • "How many times you invite your friend to your house and serve them greatly?"
  • "How many times you serve Me, with your true heart?"
  • "How many times you praise Me, when you are alone?"
  • "How many times you pray to Me, when you are still in your life, trouble-less?"
  • "How many times you spend time reading my words and understand it well and follow my way, my path?"


Friend, think about it now! What have you done in your life for "xx"years that people will appreciate; or even people does not but God does?

Spend your life carefully, each second, each minute, each hour, each day,each month, each year that God bless! Cos you never know when you leave the world! Repent now since you have time!

If now, something touches you very much, ask you to do something, please do that! DO NOT DELAY! You don't have that much time as you think...